Donate Life

Before our daughter was born, my husband and I met with Arkansas Regional Organ Recovery Agency (ARORA) about organ donation. In utero, she was diagnosed with two critical heart defects and Down syndrome. We were told to expect the worst and hope for the best when she was born and to also understand the risks…

Worry. Worry, worry, worry, worry.

Worry just will not seem to leave my mind alone.– Ray LaMontagne I am worried. That is not news. My standard operating baseline includes a level 8 out of 10 in worry. My motto seems to be “If I am not worrying about it, then who will?” It is no surprise that in this time…

What are you thinking about?

What is going on in that head of yours? What are you looking at when you are watching out the window while we drive in the car? What do you think about when you are tucked in bed, waiting to fall asleep? While you are staring out the front door, what do you see? Do…

Heart Month

We planned Ellie’s funeral before she was born. We met with Arkansas Regional Organ Recovery Agency (ARORA) about our options. They looked at test results and talked with doctors to determine which organs and parts could be used by someone else’s baby. She was to be cremated. There would be no ceremony. We would figure…

Jack is ready for school, but I am not.

I registered Jack for Pre-K today. Well, I added him to the list of other kids who want to attend public school Pre-K in August. While there is no guarantee that he will get in, we should hear soon whether or not he is accepted to one of our schools of choice. I missed the…

I don’t like babies.

Dearest Gus, Why won’t you stop crying? All day. All night. You’re clean. You’ve been fed. You are driving me crazy. I don’t like babies. Please don’t misunderstand, I love you, my beautiful baby boy, but I don’t like you right now. It’s not personal. I don’t like any babies at your age. If we…

Heart-Swelling Pride

Ellie was standing on the curb when I got to her school to pick her up yesterday afternoon. I had to stop the car in the middle of the drive when I saw her. She was standing with the help of her little red walker, her hands gripping the handles. She was wearing her leg…

Enough is Enough

I wrote this back in September and have debated with myself about showing it to others. I sent it to a few places and it was published, but I didn’t share it on my blog because it was so heavily edited that I felt like the editor missed the point of what I was trying…

Defining Chaos

August Benjamin joined our family on the day after Christmas. The holidays were a blur. The last month has been a blur. What did I even do five minutes ago? The Honaker house is a disaster these days. There is always a pile of laundry on the couch. The dishwasher always needs to be unloaded….

Telling Jack

We told Jack that his little sister has Down syndrome. “Hey Jack, do you know what Down syndrome is?” my husband asked my son on Sunday morning during breakfast. “Uh huh,” said 3-year-old Jack. This is his standard answer for every question that starts with “Did you know…” “Down syndrome is a genetic defect that…